One week in....

....well I am finally able to say I FEEL better. I have taken my meds like I am supposed too, and yesterday and today are the first days in a LONG time I haven't woken up with a headache. The burning/hive like feeling in my cheeks was minor yesterday and this morning so I know the high BP medicine is working.

You know how they say change is a good thing? Well it is, and sometimes being FORCED to make change is a GREAT thing. I am down 10 lbs this week....10 lbs can you imagine? Everyday I feel better is one step closer to the me I WANT to be.

So today my POSITIVE is that I am going to LIVE, and be HEALTHIER and HAPPIER than I have ever been. Yes I know there will be ups and downs, but I can't wait to watch my kids grow and make them PROUD of me.

How the heck does this happen....

I started out the year all "POSITIVE" and well I've done better than expected. EXCEPT somewhere along the line I didn't realize I was depressed (about a TON of things) and my blood pressure was skyrocketing (weight has a huge deal to do with that). Anyway after 6+ months of "SOMETHING" daily being wrong with me I finally listened to my husband and made an appointment.

I hate going to the DR's for any reason...I guess I view it as "theres something wrong with me" Anyway on Easter Sunday I had some numbing/heavy feeling in my left cheek. I of course went into the Dr and now I am on meds to help with EVERYTHING. Do you know what though? The things I didn't stress about before I do now....I mean am I taking the meds right? I'm not gonna stroke out because of the blood pressure am I? So that's not helping is it LOL.

Today is day 2 (2nd pill officially LOL) on my BP meds and when I get them into my system I DO feel better. I know it will take awhile for the celexia (Happy/Nerve pills again) to kick in but how come I can't get around the "I'm not really gonna die" thought...holy shit to actually THINK you are facing the END not only creates more stress but makes you think of EVERYTHING you haven't said or want to say.

So today I am OFFICIALLY turning over a new leaf. I am GOING to clean my house like I used too, and I am going to cook like I used too, and that alone will be a HUGE improvement over the past few months for me. I am hoping that by the end of the week I will FEEL like walking and starting to get this weight off of me...this is the heavest I've been (not being pregnant and that was horribly depressing to admit). So My POSITIVE mission has turned into a LIFE SAVING mission....MY own LIFE. I will over the next few months discuss the ups and downs of all of it, and maybe I can even keep it positive once in a while.

Thank you my friends for all your support.

Always good intentions

....ever notice how you start to get a handle on life and your schedule and whoops along comes another illness or ten other activities that HAVE to be done right now? Well such is life here at my house.

I am still trying to be POSITIVE this year, but let me be 100% HONEST Mary Poppins I am not, and I have TONS, yep you read it TONS of NOT so POSITIVE moments. However I don't believe that qualifies me for the "failed your New Years Resolution club" yet as if you remember it was to be MORE POSITIVE...I just thought I could take it one step farther and do it everyday...uh NOPE because even though I find (at least) one thing I am thankful for everyday some days there is just no way around being MAD or just well...MAD.

But that's not today. Nope today I am on the mend physically and mentally. I gotta tell you that life is good, even when its bad. I can't imagine my life w/o the people in it.

Lots of changes on the horizon for this family, and they really scare me, but a new house, new well everything can be really exciting. I am glad my DH got into the Navy and we have the adventures ahead of us that we do....no other job in this country would afford us the luxury of moving, and traveling to another country to live for 3 years, so today I'm thankful for Shayne's job, and all that lies ahead of us.

What are you thankful for today?

Valentines Day

yep I am only about two weeks late but since I got sick on Valentines day night and was out of comission for a few weeks here I am finally updating.

First let me say I LOVE my husband...he never ceases to amaze me. We were pretty low in the funds dept since it was 24 hours before the Navy paid us LOL but we don't ususally do a whole lot for what Shayne calls a "HALLMARK HOLIDAY" LOL but I called and said I cooked spagetti and garlic bread for dinner...can you please stop and get some chocolate for the kids they should get a Valentine from us. Now I had managed to get some Sweet Tea (big spender I am at $2.29 for 1/2 a gallon LOL) for him he LOVES Iced Tea. Anyway, you'll remember a week before Valentines day he brought me home the potted tulips so I figured we were even. Well to my suprise the man brought me in TONS of stuff..he so rocks. I got my roses, Edys Chocolate ice cream, and chocolate milk, and chocolate frosted cake all for me I looked at him like he was nuts, and he said I didn't know what kind of CHOCOLATE you would want. I just melted it was so nice.

And as a side note he brought the kids home HUGE Hershey Candy bars one for each of them...they were all a bit wound up but they were all happy.

~Update on ME~

Well over the next few days I have TONS of stuff to get posted to you all. I got really sick (some flu/cold thing) and then in the midst of sneezing and coughing I lost my wedding band, had to move a bed to find it, and threw out my back...so I was MISERABLE for about 2 weeks. I have a nagging cough that's making me crazy but I am so much better I can deal with extra NyQuil at night LOL.

Tulips....

....Spring, Easter they all remind me of Tulips. But Saturday Tulips represented a wonderfully positive thing for me (not that spring and Easter aren't LOL I just meant a personal memory/moment of ONLY mine). See over the past 16 years, my darling husband had regularly come home with either fresh cut flowers or a potted plant or flower of some sort. However in 2006 after he deployed he kind of got out of the habit of that "smile" he got from me for flowers. So occasionally I get pissy that I haven't gotten any for awhile, and do that "back door" thing and REMIND my kids to tell him LOL. Whatever we all do it if NECESSARY LOL. But on Saturday he brought me home flowers (well a potted Tulip plant) on his own.

So my POSITIVE is that I was once again REMINDED of how much we do love each other, and that the SIMPLE acts we ALL take for granted in our daily lives, that we need to try and recognize more often...because if we don't have those things life gets mighty sad and lonely.

Stop and smell the flowers today!!!!

Fanning the flames....

....of my life. We built a small fire pit in the back yard to have a bonfire and cook out for the Super Bowl, and OMG was it a hit. Not like we haven't always had a fire pit in our back yard...but its new for us here. So we cleaned up the winter dog crap, and crewed up bones, and built our fire pit. And as I sat out there laughing, with a glass of wine, and my kids swinging with the neighbors kids, I found myself once again THANKFUL for my life.

So although out teams weren't playing on Sunday we laughed, watched some of the Super Bowl. We aren't NY Giants fans, but we did root for them...because it has been the practice here over the years to root for the underdog UNLESS your team is playing LOL. And we all know NY was the underdog. We are diehard Cleveland Browns, Indianapolis Colts, and Ohio State fans...anyone else has to be the underdog LOL. I know we make some of our family and friends nuts during football season, but you what I don't care LOL its what we do as a family...and in today's FAST PACED life having any family time together should be treasured. Now don't get me wrong I am GLAD football season is over...it does get long, but its ok...our son starts again in 12 weeks (not that long now is it LOL) to practice.

Anyway, it was a great week-end with lots of laughs, and we look forward to what next week-end might hold for all of us. If you are a state that votes on "Super Tuesday," please get out there, and make your voice heard....we should all participate in the greatest show of democracy in the world. Remember this is what other countries only WISHED they had...and will probably never get a chance to have a VOICE. My friend Snowflake The Angry American has a blog dedicated to the political race if you are looking to read up on some other points of view.