One week in....

....well I am finally able to say I FEEL better. I have taken my meds like I am supposed too, and yesterday and today are the first days in a LONG time I haven't woken up with a headache. The burning/hive like feeling in my cheeks was minor yesterday and this morning so I know the high BP medicine is working.

You know how they say change is a good thing? Well it is, and sometimes being FORCED to make change is a GREAT thing. I am down 10 lbs this week....10 lbs can you imagine? Everyday I feel better is one step closer to the me I WANT to be.

So today my POSITIVE is that I am going to LIVE, and be HEALTHIER and HAPPIER than I have ever been. Yes I know there will be ups and downs, but I can't wait to watch my kids grow and make them PROUD of me.

How the heck does this happen....

I started out the year all "POSITIVE" and well I've done better than expected. EXCEPT somewhere along the line I didn't realize I was depressed (about a TON of things) and my blood pressure was skyrocketing (weight has a huge deal to do with that). Anyway after 6+ months of "SOMETHING" daily being wrong with me I finally listened to my husband and made an appointment.

I hate going to the DR's for any reason...I guess I view it as "theres something wrong with me" Anyway on Easter Sunday I had some numbing/heavy feeling in my left cheek. I of course went into the Dr and now I am on meds to help with EVERYTHING. Do you know what though? The things I didn't stress about before I do now....I mean am I taking the meds right? I'm not gonna stroke out because of the blood pressure am I? So that's not helping is it LOL.

Today is day 2 (2nd pill officially LOL) on my BP meds and when I get them into my system I DO feel better. I know it will take awhile for the celexia (Happy/Nerve pills again) to kick in but how come I can't get around the "I'm not really gonna die" thought...holy shit to actually THINK you are facing the END not only creates more stress but makes you think of EVERYTHING you haven't said or want to say.

So today I am OFFICIALLY turning over a new leaf. I am GOING to clean my house like I used too, and I am going to cook like I used too, and that alone will be a HUGE improvement over the past few months for me. I am hoping that by the end of the week I will FEEL like walking and starting to get this weight off of me...this is the heavest I've been (not being pregnant and that was horribly depressing to admit). So My POSITIVE mission has turned into a LIFE SAVING mission....MY own LIFE. I will over the next few months discuss the ups and downs of all of it, and maybe I can even keep it positive once in a while.

Thank you my friends for all your support.

Always good intentions

....ever notice how you start to get a handle on life and your schedule and whoops along comes another illness or ten other activities that HAVE to be done right now? Well such is life here at my house.

I am still trying to be POSITIVE this year, but let me be 100% HONEST Mary Poppins I am not, and I have TONS, yep you read it TONS of NOT so POSITIVE moments. However I don't believe that qualifies me for the "failed your New Years Resolution club" yet as if you remember it was to be MORE POSITIVE...I just thought I could take it one step farther and do it everyday...uh NOPE because even though I find (at least) one thing I am thankful for everyday some days there is just no way around being MAD or just well...MAD.

But that's not today. Nope today I am on the mend physically and mentally. I gotta tell you that life is good, even when its bad. I can't imagine my life w/o the people in it.

Lots of changes on the horizon for this family, and they really scare me, but a new house, new well everything can be really exciting. I am glad my DH got into the Navy and we have the adventures ahead of us that we do....no other job in this country would afford us the luxury of moving, and traveling to another country to live for 3 years, so today I'm thankful for Shayne's job, and all that lies ahead of us.

What are you thankful for today?