Tag you're it...

well this past week-end my little ones played for HOURS outside and tag was the game. Gosh do they make me smile...even on really bad days they just ROCK.



Today is Shayne's birthday and I suddenly felt like "I was it" when the phone rang and it was his mom. Remember we haven't talked to them for 3 weeks or so, and I almost didn't answer it, but I knew in my heart it was wrong not too, I mean he is her son, and I wanted her to know he is ok. So I did talk to her for about 10 minutes...and I will tell Shayne everything that was said so I HOPEFULLY can't be the BAD GUY. And yes, the most upsetting part for her isn't that she hasn't spoken to her son in weeks or that he is hurt, but its that I "yelled" at her and "put my finger up" Now let me say I did RAISE my voice, because the tears were LOUD and I was trying to make my point that "I couldn't fix it." The finger thing, I don't tend to do that, so I'm not sure where that came from, but here's the deal, I was taking care of my little ones who were all the sudden witness to drama we keep out of their life, so at 70 yrs old and a mother of four too, if she can't respect that it wasn't directed at her, it was the situation, then I can't fix that....nor am I gonna try.

I am 40 years old this year, and I am good wife, and good mother, and whether she believes it or not I am a good daughter-in-law. I talk to other DIL's all the time who are like "why would you do that...why would you put up with that" and it comes down to the fact that I just believe I should respect my husbands family. But "of course" I did something wrong again with them...although for the RECORD this was ALL HIM. I am NOT gonna keep playing this game. I truly believe people can either like me or not, the sun is still gonna come up tomorrow. I will miss chatting with her cause on several occassions she was a wonderful sounding board....but I can't take the game any more.

Ya know what I am sorry her feelings are hurt, but here's the thing, mine have been hurt for 17 years by the situation that has been going on, and you know what as my husband said 3 weeks ago, "I have 5 people to worry about and we defend each other." So thats my new mauntra for my life....its the circle of five for us, we take care, love, miss, and defend to the end each other. I will do what I am supposed too and answer any call she makes (not that one SIL though...I can't do it...she was WAY too RUDE to my husband), and if anything comes up that I think she needs to know I will let her know. Otherwise, I don't wanna be "IT" I figure its her turn to make this relationship work...not mine.

I will NEVER be disrespectful to them but I will NEVER again put my heart, my kids hearts, or my husbands out there, she'll have to find a common ground with us from now on. So my dear MIL "tag you're it."

So much changes

....in a week's time. Now although our in-laws still haven't talked to us (and I feel bad about it...but DH said "DON'T CALL" so out of respect for him, I can't call). I do miss talking to her, but as with anything it will work itself out I hope.

Last week we were hunting for eggs, and I was holding back tears while Shayne packed his last few items to head out for another deployment. And we've been lucky this week to chat everyday. Funny you get used to that nightly phone call....knowing in the back of your mind that it WILL end, and now that we are to the point the calls will be "less" I am sad. I know that today's military is luckier to be able to have the technology to email and call more often than my grandparents, but boy its still tough.

I have a friend who has started up an organization that I truly BELIEVE in, and I hope that you all check it out. Next month my family will be the "spot light" military family, and I'm pretty excited, yet nervous to put it all in writing....but challenges are meant to be faced.

I hope that Spring weather has hit where you all live, its been beautiful here this week-end and OMGosh how much the kids have LOVED it. Spring break ends tomorrow for the kids, and although its bittersweet that it'll be quiet here, OMGosh I'm so glad it will be quiet LOL and I can get back to some sort of "normalcy"

Happy Sunday everyone.

Been a TOUGH week

we went home to our hometown to see DH's family, and some how he felt the need to "talk" about things that have upset him over the years. Now I'm not gonna spread dirty laundry all over the web, but I am amazed at what happened. I mean one minute everything SEEMED fine, then he and SIL had words, then he's leaving with us in tow.

Now the dilemma here is that I TRULY had nothing to do with any of this "mess" but somehow it will be my fault, you are guaranteed. Usually I am the one doing the "just deal with it its only a short time" ya know those lines. But this time I was tired, stressed and well just done with it all and looked at him and said "for God sakes don't bitch at me about it, I can't change it." Oops guess that could make it my fault, but OMG he's 38 yrs old if he wants to be mad at his sister than he can right?

Well no one has called and he left today for a 212 day deployment, and I can't decided if I'm happier there were no more "issues" before he left or that I am mad because they didn't have the decency to "check in" on him to say good-bye. Not that I can change any of this, but I can tell you that he was AMAZING today when he left (see Missing you blog)

I will be writing a LOT more over the next few months so please check out my blogs gang. Have a Happy Easter everyone.