Today is Shayne's birthday and I suddenly felt like "I was it" when the phone rang and it was his mom. Remember we haven't talked to them for 3 weeks or so, and I almost didn't answer it, but I knew in my heart it was wrong not too, I mean he is her son, and I wanted her to know he is ok. So I did talk to her for about 10 minutes...and I will tell Shayne everything that was said so I HOPEFULLY can't be the BAD GUY. And yes, the most upsetting part for her isn't that she hasn't spoken to her son in weeks or that he is hurt, but its that I "yelled" at her and "put my finger up" Now let me say I did RAISE my voice, because the tears were LOUD and I was trying to make my point that "I couldn't fix it." The finger thing, I don't tend to do that, so I'm not sure where that came from, but here's the deal, I was taking care of my little ones who were all the sudden witness to drama we keep out of their life, so at 70 yrs old and a mother of four too, if she can't respect that it wasn't directed at her, it was the situation, then I can't fix that....nor am I gonna try.
I am 40 years old this year, and I am good wife, and good mother, and whether she believes it or not I am a good daughter-in-law. I talk to other DIL's all the time who are like "why would you do that...why would you put up with that" and it comes down to the fact that I just believe I should respect my husbands family. But "of course" I did something wrong again with them...although for the RECORD this was ALL HIM. I am NOT gonna keep playing this game. I truly believe people can either like me or not, the sun is still gonna come up tomorrow. I will miss chatting with her cause on several occassions she was a wonderful sounding board....but I can't take the game any more.
Ya know what I am sorry her feelings are hurt, but here's the thing, mine have been hurt for 17 years by the situation that has been going on, and you know what as my husband said 3 weeks ago, "I have 5 people to worry about and we defend each other." So thats my new mauntra for my life....its the circle of five for us, we take care, love, miss, and defend to the end each other. I will do what I am supposed too and answer any call she makes (not that one SIL though...I can't do it...she was WAY too RUDE to my husband), and if anything comes up that I think she needs to know I will let her know. Otherwise, I don't wanna be "IT" I figure its her turn to make this relationship work...not mine.
I will NEVER be disrespectful to them but I will NEVER again put my heart, my kids hearts, or my husbands out there, she'll have to find a common ground with us from now on. So my dear MIL "tag you're it."
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