Best Laid Plans....

For weeks we have been planing a "pseudo" vacation to Ohio....not really a vacation but a working break from reality. See my SIL is moving in from WA state and my BIL isn't coming till they sell their house out there, so I took my "BIG" boys up to help her get the house set up.....well best laid plans....the moving van didn't show up on Monday. So they helped her with the two cars, and dragging in stuff she needed done, so we did get some things done for her, but not as much as we would have liked. We also stopped to visit our best friend (of the family) and had a blast....but time goes so fast. I did get to the ROGERS sale, and OMG how I miss it. We also ate Hot Dog Shoppe, and Italos, and Mary's pizza, and it was heaven. No place like the Ohio Valley makes pizza like that.

Finally the "issue" of our visit....as previously mentioned in an earlier blog, you all know that my in-laws haven't been getting along with us...well me at the moment since Shayne is gone. But it was Father's day and I felt the need to stop. Now I LOVE Shayne's dad, he truly is nonjudgmental...or at least appears that way. I was scared to death to walk in there, and my husband gave me a list of rules (which I did adhere too since they are his family...not mine as I've been told (by several of his relatives) over the years....I'm just married in LOL...go figure)....anyway, my FIL was very kind and I felt very "at ease" with him. My "best laid plans" here were to kind of mend fences with my MIL....well needless to say I left feeling worse on Sunday than I did when we left in April. Ya know I THINK I have accepted that she does truly hate me, and I can live with that. But once again, my kids felt bad. See I don't need ANYONE to tell me how GREAT my kids are, but once in a damn while it would be nice if she acted like she gave a crap about them. So the visit is OVER and I can guarantee that her unwillingness to be happy (or at least FAKE it, like I have LOTS over the years) just served to reinforce how I will NOT fix this mess....and I can. I mean after 17 years, Shayne would listen to me, and I could schmooze the mess over, and it would be ok, but guess what....I'm NOT. Now this may make me a crappy person, DIL, I don't care, I have given more than most DIL's would and I REFUSE to give anymore.

She once said to me that "she was old enough to say what she wanted and still be respected." Well I hated that then, but guess what I feel that way today. I will NEVER feel bad about her or her feelings again. See the "obligatory" side of my upbringing NEEDS me to fix this, but that "bitchy" side says NO. So today I have decided that unless my husband says "I HAVE too (which he NEVER would he knows better, when I stick my feet in the sand)" the kids and I have decided we OFFICIALLY will be at a HOTEL while he visits his family in the future, or they are more than welcome to come here....that HOME TURF advantage is all I have going for me. I have 5 people in my life who I would die for, and although one is gone at the moment, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is going to make his wife, and kids feel bad again. So if any of the "in-laws" who hate me read this, here is my message to you: "Ball is in your court, you want to be involved...come on back, otherwise we'll be fine w/o you...sad, but fine."

Thanks my blog reading friends for letting me vent...it was necessary.

You have TWO Choices (disclaimer here)

~DISCLAIMER~

I wrote this blog in December of last year on another site I belong too, and it got some NOT so happy responses from a few people. But today in looking over my life, I realized that this is such a GREAT post, that I needed to put it here to REMIND myself. So gang READ it, COMMENT on it, and then take a DEEP BREATH and THINK about it.

You have TWO Choices....

...in your life, and ONLY two. You can choose to be happy with your life and enjoy the adventure, or you can choose to be miserable. And before you say, "Well, no there are lots of other choices I have to make in my life." But that's not true, see every choice you make in your life falls in behind how you choose to approach your life.

So its your choice, and only yours....What choice are you gonna make. Today I am going to be HAPPY....I am going to enjoy my adventure that is my life.

Tomorrow is the LAST DAY....

.....of SCHOOL for this year. I am filled with giddy excitement, knowing that I will have two a days for football, and a trip to Ohio, and my dear friends dogs, fish, and turtles to take care of for a month, but guess what I am now ALMOST a mom with ALL of the kids in school. In 10 weeks (give or take) I will wake all of them up and put all of them on the bus. No I am NOT wishing summer away, I am PRACTICING for that day next September when I DON'T wanna cry LOL.

So my plans this summer HOPEFULLY include a trip to the "theater" to see my darling husband who is deployed still. The plan is for me to go by myself (YEP NO KIDS) for about a week. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous about flying over the ocean, leaving my kids (cause as you know NO ONE can do what we do for our kids LOL), and well seeing hin sooner than I expected (won't have lost the whole amount of weight I wanted too). But to be w/o my kids for the first time since "the sperm met the egg" sixteen years ago, is so exciting.

Shayne and I work very hard to have an "us" in the middle of our "chaotic" life. Now we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all the running we do with and for the kids, but a LONG time ago we knew that Marriage (no matter how good it is) is a job that has to have effort, and love, and work put into it to make it grow. So we try to put more into it so when the kids are gone (yes I typed those words...I know they have to leave someday LOL) there will be something of US to enjoy.

So tomorrow begins a ROUGH countdown to my departure date (its gotta be approved yet) so as of tomorrow I will be 43 days from seeing my husband, exchanging our vows under the stars and moon on the beach...just us, and swimming in the clearest water (so he says) that we have ever seen. So come on this adventure with me, I promise we'll have fun TOGETHER, and we all know I'll NEED the support.

Retail therapy....

.....credit card, checks, debit cards, cash oh my....credit card, check, debit card, cash Oh my. Now here's the thing...pay day is NEXT week. BUT (notice the caps LOL) I NEEDED some "retail therapy" today. So, thank you Shayne for having good credit and letting me have the credit card to order my Magellan GPS (for my trip to Ohio...now I won't get lost), and a CHEAP stop at Gamestop for the kids, and well a new pair of shorts because I need a SMALLER size (see man holding sign). And I came home with crystal lite, bottled water, and flavored water...no junk food. So all in all it was a THERAPUTIC day for NECESSARY things right?

Well not so sure Shayne would understand the whole RETAIL THERAPY thing, but um here's the best, he called to let me know he'd be going to midnights (long story there) and I hate it, but its life....anyway, he said "I NEEDED to get a new pair of running shoes." Now I'm sure he did, but guess what, I figure it was the FAMILY RETAIL THERAPY day so I'm cool with the whole thing LOL. Pay day is Friday I'll just send extra to the darn credit card LOL.

Now with regards to shopping, and MOST husbands hating it, I have found that my mom's life lessons of hanging it in the closet, removing the tags and throwing away any bag for proof. When they say "is that new" saying "this old thing" is usually the way to go. However if this is your mode of operation in hiding clothes, for the love of God DO NOT let your 5 yr old daughter see your clothes LOL or she TELLS. HOWEVER, there is the way around that just in case you are a newbie at this whole thing. Buy her a $3 Littlest Pet shop toy so she is FIXATED on that when dad says "what did ya all do today?" She'll say "oh mommy got me a pet shop dog" and I can get on the phone and say "it was $3 she worked so hard this week I thought I'd be nice." How does he begrudge his 5 yr old "ANGEL" the $3 toy? He can't...so now new clothes for mom are a DISTANT memory...SCORE you got away with it.

Now on the off chance he SEES the credit card statement, you cover this by bringing him home something he wanted/needs/ must have (beer/wine or any liquor also helps)....if he has something tangible in his hands then when he actually see the credit card bill...you can say "babe that was your new chain saw and that really expensive beer you liked so much." Now you know it didn't cost $300 but who cares...he can't yell because it's HIS chainsaw and beer LOL...again PROBLEM averted.

So I've given you a few options to "HIDE" your retail therapy. But you could be lucky enough (as I am at the moment) that he be "out of the country" and not able to pay bills ROFL. By the time he comes home the clothes will be OFFICIALLY OLD, and the ORIGINAL credit card bill will be LONG gone with SEVERAL, EXTRA payments posted LOL.

Have you "retail therapied" today? Have a great week-end gang.

Changes are....

....inevitable. I know that we can't keep our little ones from growing up, or stop our big ones from getting any older, but someday I wished I could. This morning I dressed my youngest [baby] boy in dress pants, dress shirt, and tie to go to his kindergarten graduation. I remember every single moment of his life from the temperatures TRYING to get pregnant, to a dog bite in his face, to the dx of Aspergers and the uncertainty that he'd make it to 1st grade this year.

So today started out saying good by to my baby boy and hello to my big 1st grader. I am so very proud of how far Seth has come this year, and although I am nervous of some back stepping into his next adventure, I know now how to help him, and I think that as long as we stay focused, and understanding of his "special-ness" that he'll be ok, and so will I.

Now earlier I mentioned that I can't stop my big one from getting older, and I can't. We are ordering his Letterman jacket, and his class ring all w/in the next month, and he has to register with the NCAA on the off chance he plays football or wrestles in college...OMG college. But I walked into the auditorium at the high school tonight for what will likely be his last band concert of his life. Oh how I have enjoyed seeing him up on that stage, and having played low brass for a few years (in my past life LOL) I always hear his part above those woodwinds. But he is likely to drop band to get in a few more electives that will help him in college. I support it with a heavy heart, because one I don't want him to grow up so fast, and two I LOVED band, and I he plays so well that I just feel bad. But as the mom of a teenager I have learned that we can only STEER them in the direction we want, they still make their own decisions.

So today went from youngest to oldest with changes, and it was overwhelming a bit but I survived. I missed my husband seeing Seth today and I know he would have melted when he saw that handsome little boy of ours walk up and get the "most improved" student award, or when pomp and circumstance played, but I know he's way more prepared than I am for this. His words when I said graduation on Tuesday were "only 12 more years...so start preparing now we know it takes you a long time" LOL...and he's right.

But what I wanna know is if as mom's we are ever prepared for the "cutting of the apron strings?" Changes are inevitable and although variety is the "spice" of life, I'm occasionally all for being stagnant LOL.

Have a great night everyone.