Best Laid Plans....

For weeks we have been planing a "pseudo" vacation to Ohio....not really a vacation but a working break from reality. See my SIL is moving in from WA state and my BIL isn't coming till they sell their house out there, so I took my "BIG" boys up to help her get the house set up.....well best laid plans....the moving van didn't show up on Monday. So they helped her with the two cars, and dragging in stuff she needed done, so we did get some things done for her, but not as much as we would have liked. We also stopped to visit our best friend (of the family) and had a blast....but time goes so fast. I did get to the ROGERS sale, and OMG how I miss it. We also ate Hot Dog Shoppe, and Italos, and Mary's pizza, and it was heaven. No place like the Ohio Valley makes pizza like that.

Finally the "issue" of our visit....as previously mentioned in an earlier blog, you all know that my in-laws haven't been getting along with us...well me at the moment since Shayne is gone. But it was Father's day and I felt the need to stop. Now I LOVE Shayne's dad, he truly is nonjudgmental...or at least appears that way. I was scared to death to walk in there, and my husband gave me a list of rules (which I did adhere too since they are his family...not mine as I've been told (by several of his relatives) over the years....I'm just married in LOL...go figure)....anyway, my FIL was very kind and I felt very "at ease" with him. My "best laid plans" here were to kind of mend fences with my MIL....well needless to say I left feeling worse on Sunday than I did when we left in April. Ya know I THINK I have accepted that she does truly hate me, and I can live with that. But once again, my kids felt bad. See I don't need ANYONE to tell me how GREAT my kids are, but once in a damn while it would be nice if she acted like she gave a crap about them. So the visit is OVER and I can guarantee that her unwillingness to be happy (or at least FAKE it, like I have LOTS over the years) just served to reinforce how I will NOT fix this mess....and I can. I mean after 17 years, Shayne would listen to me, and I could schmooze the mess over, and it would be ok, but guess what....I'm NOT. Now this may make me a crappy person, DIL, I don't care, I have given more than most DIL's would and I REFUSE to give anymore.

She once said to me that "she was old enough to say what she wanted and still be respected." Well I hated that then, but guess what I feel that way today. I will NEVER feel bad about her or her feelings again. See the "obligatory" side of my upbringing NEEDS me to fix this, but that "bitchy" side says NO. So today I have decided that unless my husband says "I HAVE too (which he NEVER would he knows better, when I stick my feet in the sand)" the kids and I have decided we OFFICIALLY will be at a HOTEL while he visits his family in the future, or they are more than welcome to come here....that HOME TURF advantage is all I have going for me. I have 5 people in my life who I would die for, and although one is gone at the moment, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is going to make his wife, and kids feel bad again. So if any of the "in-laws" who hate me read this, here is my message to you: "Ball is in your court, you want to be involved...come on back, otherwise we'll be fine w/o you...sad, but fine."

Thanks my blog reading friends for letting me vent...it was necessary.