Today I realized

.....that life is too short to lose your friends, to lose your dog, to lose your prespective on things. I know, I know, I'm almost 40 (OMG only a few more weeks LOL) and I should have known this already. I do, but occassionally life throws a curve ball at you, and you have to stop, take breath, and say "ahhhh."

Friends, oh how do you even blog about them without feeling a warmth come over you, and wonder how you have gotten thru your life to this point, and how you'll get thru the rest of your life if they aren't in it? Over the years many friends and I have come and gone, and I so wished that I could talk about everyone, but there are a few I wanna talk about today.

My husband....he is truly my best friend in the entire world. I can't breathe without him. When he leaves for a deployment, I kiss him, and hug him, cry, and then hold my breath till he comes home. He saved me from myself, I didn't realize how much I could love someone till I met him. He is everything that I never knew I needed in my world.

My sister, do I call her my friend or does she only get labeled my sister? I think she is my friend first, and my sister second. She isn't married to the military, but with her job might as well be LOL. She and I have so many DIFFERENT...yet the SAME opinions, about healthcare, and politics, and our family members, and our kids, and etc, etc, etc, that I don't know where, or how we ever agree, but we do, and she is truly one of the strongest, yet nerve wracking individuals I have ever in my life met. But sis I can tell you I NEVER wanna do this with out you.

My sister in law, Terri. Now the label "in-law" automatically makes you WONDER where my brain is LOL, but here's the deal she's the "in-law" in this family too, so neither of us actually fit in. First thing I found we had in common is the fact that our husband's family doesn't like EITHER of us....I don't know why, I mean I think we are both funny as hell. But apparently, she's a bit of a snob, and I'm really tactless....ooops....like us or hate us I say (they all choose the later LOL). None the less Terri has taught me things that I never knew could or would happen in life.....lets just say "in-laws" and "dog stickers on weapons" and shopping for Coach purses are things that we laugh about so hard we can't breath some days LOL. Thank you my dear SIL, I do love you tons.

My friend Aaron, he has come and gone from my life lots over the years, and we have fought on and off, and we will continue to fight on and off, and disagree, but I will tell you that he has and continues to touch my life. The other night, I was missing Shayne so much, and I saw Aaron was on, and shot him a note, and he immediately responded with the support I needed to find my strength again...thank you my dear friend I so needed it, and I did make it thru.

My friend Peggie, honey w/o you I don't know where I'd be some days. I know I can do it, and I know I will. But you truly have been a rock in my life for so many years now. Can you believe we met online, we send Christmas cards, and you send KD movies, and two women that have never met, found "something' that keeps us connected...and I'd like to say it is more than being military wives. Thank you Peggie for always, day or night being there for me.

My friend Amber. I met her about 4 years ago when we made our first PCS to NC. Who knew that we'd be in another state now and still talk everyday....sometimes SEVERAL times a day LOL. Amber and I are COMPLETELY different on our views, but we somehow found a common ground to meet and be friends on. I treasure the times we have had together and know that whatever the future holds for both of us that we'll always have each other to fall back on.

And finally my newest, yet should be an older, friend Emily. She and Amber have been BFF's for years before I came into the picture, and then we met, spoke, and then I busted on Amber every time she'd call me re: a situation, and I'd say "well what does Emily say?" Not like I really cared, I was just prying to see what the "BFF" said, since apparently I wasn't that person. So recently Amber has had some HUGE cliffs to climb in her life and her marriage, and Amber brought Emily and I together on the phone. Now we (Amber, Emily, and I) talk everyday, and we laugh. Emily is a mom, military wife, and the funniest person I think I have ever met. At first we talked out of worry, and looking for ways to help our friend. But one day we got on the phone and it was "no holds bar" laughing about kids, and husbands, and jobs, and the military, and pop tarts. Emily is going to Japan in a few months, and for most friends that would be hard on a relationship. But see Emily and I (although we've met in the past face to face) are phone friends, so it'll be ok for us. I get up early, she's the "knight rider" so we'll meet in the middle to chat. I am glad I met her, and thank God everyday for making me laugh.

And finally, my friend Donna. I'm not sure what God was thinking when he held her from my life till right now. But her husband is in the Navy, he's deployed right now, we have a lot of the same beliefs regarding PTA and kids, and love, and shopping, and currently cleaning...neither of us wanna do it LOL. Donna makes me smile, and although I wanna kick her ass for talking me into PTSA for ANOTHER whole year, I'm grateful for her friendship, and thankful for Starbucks and the laughs we share.

So there you have it a FEW of my "adult" friends in my life that help me get thru each and every day. I don't know where I'd be without any one of them. So today, as I watched my dog get sicker, and slowly get ready to die, I realized that I don't want to lose anyone of these people from my life, and I will work to keep my friendships close to my heart forever. Thank you gang for being in my life.

Funny moments

Over the years I have many memories of "funny moments" they include my friends, my family, of course my sister, my kids and my husband. Today I was reading a friends "note" on Facebook about the "100 things your kids may Never know about" and as I glanced down the list, I found myself actually LAUGHING....not just a quiet smirk to myself, but actually LAUGHING OUT LOUD. My kids were like "mom what is it?" That in itself only made me laugh harder, cause now I KNEW I was gonna be explaining some things on the list.

First and foremost let me tell everyone (those who aren't on my FB page LOL) that my A/C broke on Wednesday (10 days before payday and its like 90+ degrees...it sucks). The kids have been so dramatic about it....."mom we don't want groceries we want air conditioning" LOL. So this lead into the discussion of how MOST of us didn't grow up with A/C until we were in High School (many moons ago) and that lead to the NO computers and NO cable, my God what did you do for fun conversations. I have truly NEVER laughed as hard as I did just watching their faces contort into shapes that looked like someone cut off their air supply.

So then I read this list and I'm LOL. The kids (hot as hell in this house) are standing over my shoulder reading along with me, and they were like "8 track tapes what the heck are those?" Now I just laughed. So I got online and sent the link to Shayne so that he could laugh too. I LOVE to realize how OLD I am, and I'm truly OK with truning 40 this year (at least thats my story and I'm sticking to it LOL), but some of the things on this list...OMG it was so sad to think about that the kids will NEVER know a walkman....or that they don't LIVE for cartoons on Saturday morning because Cartoon Network is on 24/7. Don't get me wrong I LOVE techenology, I mean take FB for example, I have reconnected with tons of long lost friends from my HS days, and I am so thankful for that....but boy NOT having all the EASY stuff made us work harder for things (I think). I mean NONE of us would have ever said "I'm bored" to our parents...we'd have already been outside playing.

So today I challenge each of you to read this post (thank you Peggie) and talk to your child, your love ones, or your friends and have a great laugh at what we all endured, and Maybe in 30+ more years we will see a list from our kids and can be in awe of how far the world has gone, and be a bit meloncoly about what it left behind.

Changes....

....ya know it amazes me how life is ever changing, good and bad, its truly the example of a circle. Everything is intertwined, and cause and effect are certainly rampant in our lives. But sometimes we forget there are consequences to our decisions. So today I wanna talk about a friend of mine...who is awe inspiring at the moment.

See I have this friend who I have known for several years, and since the day I met her, she has had TROUBLES. Some days she would frustrate me to no end, because I am "older and wiser (meaning I have already done what she's doing)" and I would be my over bearing self and TRY to FIX or in some cases CONTROL the issues at hand. So over the years I have grown to accept that many and most of my suggestions would fall on deaf ears. Then one day in the not so distant past here, she was like "oh my God you were right." After a moment of two of "what the hell are you talking about?" It dawned on me, that she was finally regaining CONTROL of her OWN life. My support and advice, and lectures hadn't fallen on deaf ears, they were there all the time, she just needed to realize she was a STRONGER woman than she THOUGHT she was. She and I both realize the consequences associated with EITHER decision, and she's willing to WORK through those consequences.

Currently my friend is making CHANGES in her life, and she is STRUGGLING with the decisions she MIGHT have to make, but I have found that TRUE FRIENDSHIP no matter how often you FORGET is the change in our lives we need. My friend has a long road ahead and A LOT of changes (no matter which decision she makes) but I do know that I will be there for her every step of the way. My life changed the day I met my friend, and it will never be the same, and every day is a step in who knows what direction, but I do know I'm glad we're making so many memories together. So take a second today to tell that friend how much they mean to you. And my dear friend when you read this, know I SUPPORT whatever decision you make for YOUR LIFE, and I will gladly help you walk whatever path you choose....you are my friend....for life.

I am Woman hear me roar....

....well hear me whine. My cat got sick, I gave up my hair coloring money (guess I'm on root patrol here at home awhile longer :( ) to fix my baby. But it got me thinking, since I became a mother I give up so much...and most of the time I am fine with it, but what I wanna know is if I ever get to spend on me w/o a laundry list of stuff the kids need/want/have to have? I mean do they out grow it EVER.

So I know the phrase about "once you a a mom, you're a mom for life" and I am so cool with that but OMG I wanna shop for me, or even for Shayne w/o worrying. Now that doesn't mean looking at a price tag, I'm ok with that too, I don't wanna be rich (well I mean I'd like too but I'm ok with my status in life at the moment LOL) but again I want to just shop w/o the back of my mind, saying "school supplies, school clothes, food, doctors money, etc etc etc" ya know what I mean?

So this is my mission for myself starting TODAY...I am gonna get SOMETHING for me...not anyone else in my darn household LOL, something...any great ideas gang? Put on those thinking caps and give me SOMETHING to shop for ME that won't make me feel guilty.

Free Speech....

...yep we all have it here in this country. But today I found myself (as I have several days in the past years) not FEELING like I have Free Speech. I mean for example the Michael Jackson stuff today....now let me preface this by saying I believe he ALWAYS meant to do good when it didn't APPEAR that he was, I also believe he holds a BIG place in musical history, but I felt very sad with the spectacle that today became. I am also a registered Democrat, but don't ALWAYS support the party, and I believe that I can vote across party lines (Oh My GOD I know right) but there I said it. Also I sometimes listen to Rush and Hannity on the radio. And while I'm on the topic I deplore people who feel they should BASH others based on their PHYSICAL appearance.

So there it is, things I have been afraid to say, there are MANY, MANY, MANY more but I still believe if I say, type, or even THINK them that some people in this country will flip out. I mean when did it become a sin against society to say "I don't really believe in what the senate or the President is doing?" I mean am I NOT allowed to have that opinion? Wanna know one reason I don't say anything? Its because I am AFRAID of how my friends, family, and acquaintances will view me. For the love of God I am (ALMOST) a 40 year old woman and I'm afraid to say some POLITICAL things because people will get mad....well NEWS FLASH they will be mad regardless. So here I am typing this and still trying to be "PC" about the whole darn thing.

So I have the right to "free speech" but I'm NOT comfortable saying it. How do I change that feeling, and shouldn't I be able to explain my friends WHY I feel the way I do...as long as I am WILLING to LISTEN to their side? Well I think I should but I don't believe that other people feel that way....so I will continue being "PC" as to NOT to offend anyone, but please people out there who feel different than I do, know that my beliefs don't make me any less of the person you have grown to love and appreciate. And if appearance means everything to you in your life, then THERAPY is a really GREAT IDEA for you, since we are all INDIVIDUALS fat or thin.

Got Book?

Ok, so this certainly wasn't my blog idea today, but I found it so inspiring when the boys and I sat down and started talking about it, that I had to utilize it here rather than on my Facebook notes as the instructions state. So Snowflake, my dear friend, thank you for giving me a topic that forced me to delve into the files in my mind. And when I came up short, I looked to my kids who reminded me what "WE" have read over the years in this house....and personally ANY topic that gets TEENAGERS talking to us that isn't video game related (LOL) I believe is a GREAT TOPIC. SO here we go.....

BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up? Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read (some are series, so list which volumes you've read). Tag other Book Nerds.

So as I found myself scrolling my minds memories, I realized that there are SO MANY more that I would add to this list that I BELIEVE everyone should read.

How about:

Mya Angelou’s- I know why the caged bird sings

James Baldwin’s- Notes of a Native son

Flann O’brien’s- At swim two birds

Nathaniel Hawthorn’s- The scarlet Letter

Samuel Clemens’- Mark Twain

Miguel de Cervantes- Don Quixote

Alexandre Dumas- Man in an Iron Mask

Author Unknown- Beowulf

I know there are TONS more, but I can’t think of them right now darn it. Maybe we should start our own list LOL and see where we could go together.

Note: This isn't a contest! Just a cool way to see what your friends have been up to. So please feel free to add a book you think should be on here, or any comments you have. In this busy world we live in, I think LOTS of times we FORGET that there is a HUGE literary world out there waiting to "feed our minds."

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen [X]
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien [X]
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte [X]
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling [X]
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee [X]
6. The Bible [x]
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte[x]
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell [X]
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott [X]
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare [X] Not *all*, but enough to hold a conversation
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien [X]
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger [X]
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell [X]
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald [x]
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams [x]
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky[X]
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck [x]
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll [X]
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis [X]
34. Emma - Jane Austen [x]
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis [X]
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini [X]
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden [X]
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne [X]
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery [x]
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding [x]
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel [x]
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen[x]
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens [X]
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck [X]
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas [x]
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville [X]
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens [X]
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker [x]
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett [x]
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce [X]
76. The Inferno – Dante [x]
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens [X]
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker[X]
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White [X]
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom [X]
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle [x]
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad[X]
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams[x]
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas[x]
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare [X]
99.Charlie & the Chocolate Factory-Roald Dahl [X]
100.Les Miserables - Victor Hugo [X]

Going to be POSITIVE today...

...since I left for Ohio a few weeks ago, I have found myself in a funk, that I can't seem to get out of, and I don't know why. So today I am going to do the things I have been AVOIDING....ya know cleaning GOOD, and cooking REAL food, and well getting back on the Wii Fit (yes I know Deanna I promised I'd keep at it but well food in the valley killed me LOL).

I just read a friends blog on Facebook and I am gonna link to it since it INSPIRED me to MOVE IT today. I have so much going for me in life, and although I HATE looking back at any past mistakes, I know sometimes we have too. But I few my past problems/issues/mistakes as the stepping stones that got me to this point in my life. I truly LOVE my life....now don't get me wrong I am NOT all Pollyanna that its PERFECT, its far from, I mean we have money issues and fights like everyone else, but I truly when I look at the GREAT things in my life I LOVE it. So although I like everyone reading this has past "baggage" we carry with us I BELIEVE that I have overcome it.

My husband (yes some days I wanna kill him LOL) is truly the man I have longed to be with FOREVER. He doesn't realize what a better person I am because of him, and he doesn't realize that his acceptance of who I am, for better or worse, is what inspires me to be a better person. I was not skinny but "normal" in high school, and never endured those "fat" comments that some girls endure, and for that I'm grateful...have no fear there were other things to make fun of. But when I got pregnant 16 years ago, I put on 110 lbs with my first son, and since then have not gotten all of it off. Understand its not for NOT trying as some people would like to say, I do try, and most to the time I succeed in getting 1/2 of it off, but OMG I am 40 years old and the thought of eating and living like that FOREVER gets kinda depressing.

I have found that the ONE thing in life I despise more than anything are "reformed" people. I mean I don't smoke but OMG those poor people who do have to hear NON-STOP from those who have quit. I am a fat girl (currently) and there is someone in my life who deplores FAT, and when I look back at their life I remember that they weren't always the "healthiest" LOL. But God love my sister and my husband who remind me that I am who I am, and loved for who I am...not who a "reformed" person is so condescending too. Sometimes I think if people would "mind their own business, and NOT be so damn "judgmental" on purpose or not, that the majority of the problems we face in life wouldn't be issues. And I am FAR from perfect, I mean I was raised in a small town, and had those beliefs that we all have that until you get out into the "real" world you can finally see the other side. I have become MORE accepting in my years, and I find it disheartening when I look at someone else who is so judgmental and cruel to people. I fear that someday that person is going to look around themselves and find they are alone with only vain, uncaring people, and that maybe they will finally realize what the LOST.

Life is an adventure and we can be POSITIVE or NEGATIVE....I chose to be POSITIVE today, and LISTEN and HEAR my husband, my sister, and my children who LOVE me so much for who I am NOT who some people THINK I should be, and for that I can't thank you all enough.

***as a side note on the off chance you are THAT person I reference in this blog...don't bother commenting, I don't care what you think anymore. I am always here for an email or phone call, but not to be the "fat" girl you can make fun of...I am BETTER than that, and because I am ACCEPTING of everyone, that makes me better than you, and that I can live with.****