Life Lessons....

.....the other day my sister said "its only a life lesson if you learn something from it" and technically she's right. But then I thought about my life, and how MANY, MANY...well TOO many to count times I have had to relearn the "life lesson." Now does that mean I didn't learn it the first time, I'm really stupid, or does life change so much from year to year, month to month, day to day, or moment to moment that it may "TECHNICALLY" be the same life lesson but is it really? Circular writing here at the moment....but hang in there MAYBE it'll go somewhere before the end.

So lets assume that technically its the same life lesson, but all the players and locations have changed...doesn't that therefore make it a new life lesson? See my son's are given a lot of leeway when it comes to their "mental health" days from school. That's one of the benefits of being home, is I can work their day off into my schedule. But year after year (well not every year but you get the picture) here we are at the end of the year and they want a day off....well no can do, you already took your days off this year. So the pissing and moaning continues. I can say (another GREAT mom moment in my life BE KIND) during the first deployment (which I have already fessed up too that I did CRAPPY and so did the kids) Osten took on a whole new role for himself and our family...so I never said NO (never fear I have learned LOL) if he wanted a day off. It's 8th grade and he's already got classes scheduled for 9th and guess what the report card says "retained for attendance" OMG I almost crapped...where did I miscount, what the hell do I do now. Well luckily where we were ALLOWED him to work the 5 days after school let out from 8-2 (cleaning/stocking/ whatever they needed to close up shop) and he got his days counted and did pass. So should he have learned to not skip school or should I have learned or in the best case scenario should BOTH of us have learned?

Well here we are...another deployment, the end of the school year, and whiny kids. NONE of them can miss days (well they can a few but their grades are crappy this year so they CAN'T miss any days) but it got me wondering if EITHER of them learned one darn thing from the "retention" report card....or do I truly suck as mother? I mean WTH is wrong with me, other than the fact I like them home...um well 98% of the time LOL. But I did LEARN and I say NO go to school...be the state's problem for a few hours (not that they are truly problems but you see where I'm going). I just don't understand where their work ethic is? I mean their dad works like a dog and always has....he doesn't take time off work for and he has reported off exactly 2 times in 17 years...so I guess genes doesn't play a role in whether work ethics are ingrained LOL.

So here I sit with two kids who can do better than they have this year, work ethic ONLY applied to the things/classes or sports that they want to apply it too, and whining that they want a day off. So wanna know what life lesson I learned in this whole blog....

Take this straw, suck it up and go to school, get a darn diploma, go to college, get a job, and get a house of your own...and for the LOVE of God don't bring me home your laundry.

I am having this printed up on white t-shirts for all of us to purchase ROFL. Think our kids will ever learn the life lessons we already know or are the destine to just make the same darn mistakes we did?

My mom taught me.....

....if you have nothing nice to say, then say NOTHING at all. Well that's the reason I have avoided blogging. I am having a hard time NOT being mean, or bitchy...or well just CRAZED. But let me back up and tell you way.... We are ORIGINALLY from "SMALL TOWN" Ohio, and things are WAY different there (all my Ohio friends and family are nodding) there is no way to explain it to you unless you have lived it. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Virginia and all it has to offer. But the other day I over heard my son's talking about "reverse discrimination" and their friends said this or that. Well most of the time I tend to IGNORE (good mom that I am) but this came on the heels of the new nomination to the Supreme Court, Sonia Sotomayor. Now here's the thing...this blog have NEVER been Republican or Democrat or whatever else you label yourself. I want to first state I am a registered Democrat, but I vote for who I BELIEVE is the best choice, I could care if they are a green alien with pink polka dots....if I BELIEVE they can do the best for our country that's how I vote.

But I digress, I was already perturbed when I heard this conversation, as the big BANNER news was 1st Latino nomination to the Supreme Court. That's what scrolled across the screen BEFORE her name came across. So I'm already stewing that this is the 1st thing they have to say? I mean how about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor's hat was just tossed into the ring. Why do I have to be told she's a woman (obvious when I see her picture) or that she's Latino. Please I am not minimizing any FIRST"S of anything...I am all for history making moments, but every damn time I turn around its a race issue. I could care if she's Latino (no disrespect to Latinos anywhere honest). For me, I'd rather hear about her record...not her "compelling life." Betcha we all have something compelling in our lives we could talk about...and trust me someone, somewhere would find our lives compelling. So I'm stewing about the darn media again. Then I hear the kids talking....now I'm good and pissed.

Racism as defined by Websters Dictionary is 1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race 2 : racial prejudice or discrimination. Racism is against EVERY PERSON regardless of COLOR or RELIGION. But my issue here is that REVERSE racism by definition would be NO RACISM...right? So now I feel the need to explain to the boys that Racism and Bigotry, and Sexism and whatever other -ism they can think of is just crappy and wrong. But that REVERSE RACISM isn't a true word in the way they were using it. And in the off chance someone questioned them about it, to 1. call me and 2. tell them that Websters Dictionary offers this definition when the words reverse racism is typed in The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above.

So, now I have made the boys look at me like I have six heads, and I'm crazed (go figure LOL) and I'm still mad. I mean listen whether I voted for Obama or not isn't an issue but if I did it wouldn't be because he was black or wasn't black....I don't care what color any one's skin is...I want to know when (before I die maybe) will the media and individuals QUIT pointing out the "race issue." I believe that one person makes a difference, and I believe that we should all have the right to voice our opinions...and I'm all for that...BUT let me preface that by saying, I am a woman (lots of sexism still exists) and I am fat (lots of discrimination there) and I'm old (again lots of discrimination....ageism LOL). You're right I am not black or Latino and I can't understand the past other than what history books tell us, but I can tell you that I have found in the 40 years I have been alive, that bad, horrific stuff happens but if people don't find a way to mend and move on...not forget...I am NOT suggesting that at all....but to move FORWARD then we are no better off then things were when two water fountains were acceptable. I want...no, I NEED to make sure my children grow up as color blind as possible...but for the LOVE of God if the Media doesn't help us then how as parents can we do that?

So as my mom has always said "nothing nice to say, then don't say it" so goes this blog. You are more than welcome to voice you opinion, and I welcome it, BUT I can guarantee that I have the benefit of NOT having the comment on my page, IF you chose NOT to see ANOTHER point of view...doesn't mean you have to change yours...but an open dialogue is a start in ending racism once and for all. The past can NEVER (nor should it) be erased or changed, but the future is a BLANK slate, and together we can make is say what ever we want it to say. So be kind, and know that how we act today effects how our children will act in the years to come.

Happy Friday everyone.

Made a decision...

....I tend to write a lot about my kids and husband, so today I decided (lots of back and forth first) to write about me. Ok, for those of you SCARED, then run...run very fast LOL. This year has been an odd year for me, we moved to another new state, we bought our first house (OMG do I miss ISSUES being the relator's problem LOL). I gained a few more pounds, on top of what I hadn't lost YET, and well Shayne deployed. So I find myself alone with the kids again (which is fine most of the time, but it does have its days).

Last time Shayne deployed I didn't make the BEST decisions...I did A LOT of RETAIL THERAPY, and a lot of drinking on the week-ends in my kitchen playing cards with my friends, and WAY too much crying and worrying. I PROMISED myself I was going to do better this time, and so far I have. The majority of money I have spent so far has been on home improvements, and thats good for the home (and our bank account LOL). But there is always that stumbling block of the weight which I NEVER seem to get over. I mean I am TRULY ready to get the past 16 yrs of weight off, but some days the thought is overwhelming.

So last week I made THE DECISION....to go back to Weight Watchers (its worked in the past for me) and what a wonderful thing to be accountable to someone else who doesn't know me...always is the challenge for me...and well weight loss is a mind game as well as a lifestyle change now isn't it?

So here I am 3 days into my "counting points" program AGAIN, and I am down 6 lbs already, on top of the 4 lbs from just the Wii Fit (which I am back into big time again...yea me). SO I am already down 10 lbs which should be GREAT, but if I'm not careful and stop looking at the GOOD in the -10 lbs then I am OVERWHELMED with the amount I WANT/NEED to lose. So here is the game plan this week. I am going to hold myself accountable to staying w/in my point range (Oh how I will miss those STARBUCKS coffees LOL) and EXERCISE every single day. And I will be accountable on here too. That way my dear friends in case you don't see an update on Twitter or Facebook that I exercised, can you drop me a "NASTY GRAM" to remind me that I WILL do this.

SO here it is, I make a decision, and still need help, I know that many of you aren't shocked because I tend to ask for help more than I ever have, but some of you who have never seen me ask for help...will be going...WTH is up....but I need the help and the support. I want off blood pressure meds, and I want to buy some swanky (is that the right word to use when you are almost 40 LOL) outfit to pick up Shayne at the airport when he gets home next Thanksgiving. Won't he be surprised?

My littlest boy...

....for those of you who follow my blog or are my friends you know that our son Seth was dx with Asperger Syndrome last October. Its been a trying time in our house, with doctors appointments, and testing, and special appointments to help him, and us adapt to what his "normal" is. See most of us have our own view of "normal" and Seth has taught us that sometimes that view isn't all its cracked up to be, and that looking "outside the box" truly can make us better people.

Asperger children are unique in lots of ways, and amongst themselves. Most of the time they have traits that are similar, but no two Asperger children are the same, so although we have a support system, the Aspie parents we know don't have all the problems we have and we don't have all they face. It makes life one of those ROLLER COASTERS that you can't get off of, but LOVE to ride.

Seth is extremely "literal" when he talks to us. Now that means that sometimes his "fixations" (which are also normal with Aspie children) at the moment dominate our conversations. As parents we tell our children we love you forever, or to the moon and back again...ya know there's a ton of examples, and its what we are comfortable saying. So in helping Seth adapt over the years we would say things like you know "mommy and daddy love you forever?" And he'd say yes, and it would force him to "think" about it. Then in true "mommy" form I'd say "do you love me?" Answer yes, which led to the "how much" question. These type of questions encourage Seth to focus on the question AND the answer. Now Seth, God love him, as always responded back with things like I love you "2 days" then it was "100 days" then up to "200 days" and since his focus was numbers not time we just would say OMG I love you 100 days too. But this morning he said to me "mom I love you forever and ever." I almost cried, well I did cry just not in front of him.

Seth has taught us many things over the past 6 years of our lives (even before we know how "SPECIAL" he is)....and the one thing I know in my heart is that he has made us better people, and a better family. Ya know everyone says "life is so short, don't waste it." And that's true, we do need to focus on what's important and the things that we love, but today I want to focus on the fact my son loves me "FOREVER and EVER" just in case he never says that to me again, I want to remember how I feel today at this exact time in my life...and I want to LOVE it.

Happy Friday everyone...Hope that Memorial Day finds you all with nice weather and lots of family around you.

Wednesdays.....

....many of you already know I hate Wednesdays. I actually hate them more than most people hate Monday's. Now there are a number of reasons...among them are the fact that every single Wednesday during the school year STINKS. I always have kids late for school, or missing the bus, no clean clothes, except for LOST the TV schedule isn't the best, its ONLY half way thru the week...there is still half to go, and finally for me Murphy's Law seems to apply every Wednesday. And while I'm at it, any day called "HUMP day" is just kinda gross in itself LOL.

So here it is ANOTHER Wednesday for me. I was already blah, but add to it my oldest who has a STUNNING 64% in Geometry (has to pass it to move on) he had his SOL (his proficiency here in VA) which, believe it or not he SWEARS he studied for...guess we'll see. But then I have all 4 of them with colds, hacking, sneezing, snotting everywhere....I'm sick and thanks to my "fat butt and High Blood Pressure pills" I can take hardly NOTHING to make me feel better, add to it a trip to the emergency room. OMG you are feeling for me now aren't you LOL?

So Mack heads to football conditioning last night and he did hurt his hand, but being the EXCELLENT (NOT) mother that I am I said take some ibuprofen, use ice and go to bed, we'll deal with it in the AM if its not better...guess what NOT better. Called Dr said "better safe than sorry...take him to ER." Now nothing against ER's I think they are fine places with fairly BRAVE and PATIENT staff, but OMG what a waste of a day (or night) any time you go. We spent...wait for it.....4.5 hrs to find out....oh yes its only a bad sprain and deep muscle bruise. Well NO shit I knew that but had to go, because kid wincing in pain 1k a times a day every time he moved it.

So, now I'm home, looking at my pool (yes the pool from hell LOL) and its off by like 4 squares on one side...thank you Virginia rain...I've so appreciated all the mud and crap washing down my drive and walk ways. But I wait its 73 degrees and my kids...yes the ones with colds are in the freezing water. Now I could be the adult and go out and say "get the hell out its too cold" but um why? They are already sick, I do have health insurance for another AMAZINGLY, FUN FILLED ER visit if necessary, so let them yell it out by the neighbors house LOL (yeah I suck today but oh well LOL).

So gang tell me your LEAST favorite day of the week, and we can compare notes. thank goodness in about 7 hrs from now its officially Thursday.

Movie, Tears, and My son (spolier alert)

....title caught your eye didn't it LOL. Today on "ON DEMAND" we rented Marley and Me, and KD and I watched it. I of course cried at the end but I cry at commercials. So Mack comes home and KD was like you have to watch the movie. So after some teeth pulling he agreed.

Stop, back up and let me give you a prologue here. We have a 2 yr old black lab named "Max", and she is HUGE LOL. She chews up stuff, and occasionally pees on my floor, and eats EVERYTHING in site, but Max like Marley thinks she's small and IN CONTROL. So we saw A LOT of parallels between the movie and our lives. WE have been talking about finding Max a new home, she is a LOVABLE nuisance but many days I wanna just open the darn door and ship them out (yes there was that scene in the movie too...so guess I'm NORMAL). So that brings us back to the beginning of today and the battle royal to make Mack watch the movie with KD.

I pulled out of the drive way to go get Osten from lifting/conditioning and they were all sitting here with mouths hung open watching the movie. I came home about 90 minutes later and see Mack...looking a bit sad, but asking if he was ok, was about all I did (yeah crappy mother I know but he's a teenager so I try not to pry anymore than necessary sometimes LOL). So they are at the END scenes in the movie and I look over and see tears rolling down his face as Marley (SPOILER ALERT) is put to sleep.

I felt my heart just melt, I mean I hate to see my kids cry, ever, but to know that a movie with love for a dog in a family touched my son's heart like that made me so proud of the young man he is today. I always knew he'd grow up to be loving, kind, and generous, but today I realized that he has already become that man. What a great moment for me as a mom to know he's as wonderful at I KNEW he would be.

If you haven't seen this movie, then rent it and watch it. It was truly an amazing movie, and my kids loved it, sad but moving at the same time.

End of the year....

...yes I do know it is only May LOL but I am thinking about the end of the school year. I look forward so much to it being over, but about 3 weeks in I'm ready for them to hit the bricks back LOL. However my Osten and Mack will be heading back and forth to the high school Monday-Friday every day this summer (for conditioning either one or two times a day) until August 1st when football season OFFICIALLY kicks off. So no real "summer break" for this family but it will be nice not to have that "morning routine from hell" that we have all year.

So anyway, I digress from my thoughts...go figure LOL. Anyway, it dawned on me today that in another few weeks I will have a junior in high school. I can't believe one I am actually OLD enough to have a junior in high school and two that he is old enough to be a junior in high school, but he is/will be sooner than I think.

Life goes so fast, and truly, if you don't grab hold and hang on, you miss it. I am so grateful that I have had the time with Osten that I have, I mean everyday he is one day closer to being his own man, and heading off to college, where I won't be there to remind him to pack water in his lunch LOL....or say did you pack your gym clothes, and get your damn math homework. But I do believe that Shayne and I have raised him to be his own man, he just doesn't know it yet...but he will.

I love being a mom, but on days where I think about the "end" of one thing and the "beginning" of something new, life scares the hell out of me. I miss him being a little boy and NEEDING me, but I am so PROUD of the man he has become. I hope that deep inside he knows how very, very much he is loved. Next fall will begin the adventure of the SAT's, college applications, class ring, Letterman jacket, and ring dance, as well as whatever else it entails. I am looking forward to sharing every moment he will allow me to share with him.

If you didn't take a moment to look over your life this week-end and appreciate any or all of it, then tonight or tomorrow morning before the week gets so hectic you can't breathe, just step out of your shoes, and love the moments you have with your loved ones. Life is too short to miss any more than you already have.

The "POOL"

Ok, I FINALLY did it...I invested more than $60 in a pool for summer...it was a STELLAR deal (How'd you like that word Preston LOL). Now I told Shayne I was getting it in June when they got out of school and I told him it was gonna be a size smaller than this one, but guess what for $70 more I got a MUCH bigger one, and its not one of those darn BLADDER POOLS...been there done that.

So I got the pool at 6:30 am before the kids left, and guess what it is finally JUST FILLING up NOW. Now you know I had to clean the house, feed KD, scrub up the floor where my damn dog decided she should pee right in front of my "fat butt" (I was walking to the door) for God sakes she is 2 yrs old ...."TIME TO STOP PEEING on the DAMN FLOOR." Every time she does it I swear to all things HOLY that she is gone when it happens again....but guess what she's still HERE...but only till she does it the NEXT time LOL.

Lets see
got pool (check),
cleaned house (check),
set up pool (check),
picked up kids from schools (check)
Listened to KD make me NUTSO about "is it ready yet, is it ready yet" (CHECK, CHECK, CHECK),
and for the love of God I just realized my kids haven't eaten dinner yet...so PAPA Johns will be delivering (sorry Shayner...in my jammies already LOL)

Now that list looks like a heck of a lot less than I actually did, but as I put the hose in the POOL from HELL today, I of course had to pee...did I tell you that I was INSIDE the thing...oh yeah, my dear friend said...get in push out the wrinkles...yeah that was easy..."HEY Amber my ASS is HUGE...ladder not made for a SMOOTH entrance into an EMPTY pool" LOL. OH and did I tell you that the EMPTY area in my yard that is so HUGE would be PERFECT for a pool....but as you can see from the above photo...the darn pool is GINORMOUS....bet the neighbor is gonna be happy I'm fat and don't wear a THONG as I saunter my big butt up the ladder till next month LOL. But here I am I SURVIVED.

And in the midst of all the yelling at the kids to wait, and get that pool, and NO not that way crap that went on today, my little ones came down stairs and said "thank you for our pool mom you ROCK," and they had to make a video for dad to say thank you too, so guess it was all worth it, but man am I gonna be sore tomorrow.

How do I....

....do everything in life I HAVE to do? I mean today for example every one of the kids needed me to be some place else, and two of 'em at the same darn time on separate sides of town. Now most days I am grateful that they NEED me or WANT to spend time with me, but OMG I just want SOMEONE...I don't even care who to watch the kids, and tote their butts where ever and when ever they need to be someplace...and while that person is here, could they grocery shop, mop the floor, do the laundry, cook dinner, and take care of dishes, bed making, vacuuming, paying the bills, and well whatever else you can think of to add to this list LOL.

I believe that MOTHERS are truly special people, but tonight, I am so TIRED, I could cry...not cause I HAVE to do it all (especially right now) but just because some days there isn't enough time in any one day to get every thing I HAVE to get done, DONE.



I think that today I am wishing Will Smith would bring me one of those great I-Robots to help out LOL. So tonight I want to know HOW YOU DO IT? I don't care what it is you do...work, go to school, raise kids, raise your husband LOL, whatever it is you do that HAS to be done in your life. How do you juggle it all? Come on gang....WORDS of ADVICE...lets go, I know that between you all that there is an answer to this.

Kindergarten Registration....

....well today was the day, I OFFICIALLY registered KD in school for next year. My friend Amber insists this was tough on me, but it wasn't as hard as sending Seth last year. Maybe as a mom, someplace deep inside I knew Seth had issues, so I worried about him. When we got the Aspergers diagnosis, it put all of my life into prospective. So today I took all my paper work, my request for KD to have Seth's teacher (cause she's my hero), and registered her.

I am sure next fall when the bus rolls up to get them both I feel a pang of "something" my bet with Amber is that it WON'T be tears or sadness, but when I hung up with her I thought, that any sadness I feel will only be because Shayne will have missed that day, and thats why we had more children, cause with our first two, he was in school full time, working full time, and there wasn't time to watch the first bus ride, or empty the book bag when they walk in. So yes on that day in September I will feel sadness for what he misses...me however, I'm gonna take a deep breath, thank God I didn't kill her before that moment LOL, and then go to Starbucks for a coffee, biscotti, a good book and a job application...cause as many of you know it is my FAVORITE place on Earth.

My baby girl, who I waited my whole life on is a GIANT PAIN in the ASS, but she is ready, and I know that. So Amber you owe me a Starbucks card in September...be ready, maybe we'll just meet 1/2 way for breakfast LOL.

Infomercials

When did that even become a real word? OH well for those of us who are a bit insomniac ridden we LOVE them. But many times they raise OTHER questions...like does that really work? And how about I could afford that its only 3 monthly payments LOL. But this now leads me to MY questions for today....

1. What "as seen on TV" products have you tried?
2. Which do you want to try?
and finally
3. Did any of them work?

I have tried a few, and my favorite so far is Mighty Putty...it fixes almost everything I have used it on. I actually had a leak under my sink I fixed it with weeks ago, and its working STILL.

OK how about the Sauna Belt? Now it works great as a heating pad at night, but it didn't really lose any REAL inches, and after awhile it actually burns your darn skin.

Finally...this is my LEAST favorite one too is the ab roller and the ab roller wheel. Yeah they MIGHT work if the one didn't pull every muscle in your lower back and the other one...well lets just say a heavy girl pushing a wheel on the floor makes ya feel like an OVER SIZED wheel barrow, so pushing myself to do it...NOT happening LOL.

Now my favorite thing about infomercials is there is always that in bold statement that says "NOT AVAILABLE in STORES" LOL now let me say every last one of these items is in stores...usually at Wal-Mart up by the registers...you know the IMPULSE shopping row right at check out LOL. And I certainly didn't pay FULL price for any of them THANK YOU Wally world.


Now the downfall to shopping in the store for them is there are none of those PILES of packages waiting outside your front door...which is always great...I mean a gift for yourself that you paid for but What the heck ever at least its not a bill LOL.

Ok gang lets see what you can offer me here...maybe there is something out there I have missed and want to try...fess up to the great buys, or really bad ones.

The Bucket List

Now I've seen the movie before, so today when it came on, I was watching, and cleaning...ya know, not paying attention 100%, when I heard the scene where Carter (Morgan Freeman) and Edward (Jack Nicholson) are sitting on top of a pyramid in Egypt and they are talking about how "long ago Egyptians believed that when you died you went to Heaven and they asked two questions of you

1. Did your find JOY in your life?
and
2. Did your life bring JOY to others?

So Edward answers the first one and then says "you'd have to ask other people if I brought JOY to their lives, I haven't really concerned myself with how other people felt."

So I thought about this for awhile, and then I decided to answer myself. And this is what I have decided....that yes, I have found JOY in my life, with my children and my husband, and my family. As to whether I have brought JOY to others lives? Well in my heart I believe I have but in my head I'm not sure. I mean saying YES definitively kinda seems "self-centered" and I am not that, but saying NO wouldn't be true I do BELIEVE over the years that I have touched peoples life and hopefully brought them some JOY.

So my CHALLENGE to you would be to ask yourself these two questions, and please comment and let me know how you fair with your answers. If you haven't found the JOY, then DO IT...and DO IT NOW before it ends up on your BUCKET LIST. Life is too short to wait.

Guess what someone said

to me? My sister-in-law Terri told me today that I was someone to be admired...that I made being a SAHM of 4 kids look easy, that I am a good mom. Now of course I did the "what the heck ever" but when I hung up I started thinking. A long time ago, my mom had a friend, (a bit younger and still single but in a serious relationship) who said that my mom always made being a wife, mother, nurse, and hostess look easy, and I used to think OMG its not. I always wanted to be half the woman my mother is, even if when I was younger I didn't realize how wonderful she is.

So today, as I heard someone say that to me, I was kinda taken a back. Oh my gosh, did I actually become a good mother, and wife? I mean is it possible I became my mother, someone who I look up too in so many ways? I can only hope so. My mother is a great woman, with more potential than even she realizes. She has helped me grow into the woman that I am, and I can only hope as I look at my daughter today that she will love me as much as I love my mother.